Rainy days and Mondays always get me down, do they?

When a misty spot, surreptitiously turning into a mammoth demon, eclipses the sun, I board a flight from this world to mine.

There is my paradise, just 32 steps away. Each crystal embellishes me in the way nature would adorn its child. I’m again ecstatic. The meeting will be after a long, long time. The trees sway from side to side, and so does my sixth sense. Somebody knows that I’m waiting – waiting with patient expectation. Yes, somebody knows that I love relishing these moments of eager wait.

As usual I miss you on the 32 steps. There’s not a corner that I fail to check, & yet, like every time, I fail to perceive you. Furtively, you sidle your way towards me, keeping me totally unaware of your presence.

There’s again that warmth in the cool breeze, and I know that I’m with you. The moment I’ll turn, I’ll behold what will be a feast for my eyes. I live and re-live every second, every moment, every feeling, and every rush of the adrenaline.
The ink-draped silhouette is right in front of me. I could be reborn a thousand times, just for that sole moment. I sense those jewels looking at me. Like every time, there is a dip, to feel the surge of emotions.

It’s getting cooler and wetter. The colorless liquid from above is blessing us once again. It’s a conspiracy of nature.

Once more I’m in those strong, protective arms. The embrace says that no one can love me better. Each time that affectionate and passionate interlocking feels even more heavenly. I’m in the arms of my creator, or am I in the arms of my creation?

It is time to depart. Oh, how I wish the 32 steps had disappeared, but they are intact. I descend again, not knowing when will be the next time….

Unknown Identity

Who am I? - Am I that person who has always pretended to be me? Am I the one whom I’ve always encouraged to come into being? Or am I that person who I pine and strive to become? - Which 'I' am I?

I’m good, but not ‘that’ good; I’m lively, but not ‘that’ vivacious and ‘that’ chirpy; I’m elegant, but not ‘that’ stately. - Why do I always fall short of a silly four-lettered word? Why does the pace of my thoughts always overrule my typing speed? Why do I feel that my soul is caged? Why can I not match myself in my dreams and in reality? Why can I not be the ‘someone’ I’ve always wanted to become? Why do I feel like I’ve lost everything everywhere, and will not be given a second chance? Why do I want to run away from what is inevitable. Why do I experience discomfort when my imaginations switch to reality? Why can’t things be overt & not ambiguous? Why are there so many ‘whys’ & why do I have an answer to none?

All these ‘whys’ are gagging me - I’m choking, I’m suffocating. All my screams are being culled by a pestering silence. I’m not dwindling with the waning moon, am I?

It’s winter and yet I’m singeing. I feel claustrophobic even in the middle of a huge field. I’m wide-awake and yet comatose. Perhaps there isn’t any chance, yet I’m not ready to give up!

It was me who said that I don’t want to fly high because nobody will fly with me; but today I say, ‘I want to fly - fly not only high, but highest’. I’ll be far from déjà vu. Will you be with me?
I want you back. After three complete years, I’ll again have you within me, and by my side. This is my belief. I still have enough faith to trust my belief.
We’ll be in tandem again and my identity will not remain unknown anymore…