i'm sorry..

he came to me to ask for something...i tried to tell him to come later...but my vocal chords just didn't function. i know i was rude...very rude indeed..because i ignored him...though i didn't want to.i was busy hiding something..which i didn't want him to notice.when he still stayed back...my vocal chords did act..but this...they were very harsh.he left without another word.
how could i explain to him..that that was not intended. if he would have stayed back for some more time...it would have definitely come to his notice. i had no choice...but again i know i was wrong...wrong inspite of all the reasons i had.
i'm sorry...i really am. i know i wont be able to say so to him...but if he could just read this...
the intention was completely different...but it ended up in something totally different.
this happens time and again.

and everytime i falter...falter to portray what i really want to.i wish there was someone..who could interpret it all...but then u tend to misunderstand once u begin to understand!

at times i feel sorry...feel sorry for her...who knows that she would have done so much to maintain her self-pride.but now...now she is just a mere spectacle to how she is treated. i wish i could provide her some strength...some strength to throw out of her life all those people who caused her pain...i would have ended it all in one go.but she is week...she is week enuf to look after her own body.how is she to look after her mental state??i wish i could help....but i'm sorry for my incapability.

i'm sorry...

Just once....

i want to climb the highest tower...look up towards the sky...throw my hands up...and sing....sing my heart out. coz words i have none....but my song has all that i want to say to you.
i'll sing...sing aloud...because i want it to reach you....just to say thank you....thank you for making me what i am!
thank you for believeing in me and making me believe in myself....i can pave my way forward even into the darkness...because i can fight it...fight it all by myself.
i'm not afraid anymore......not anymore!
thank you...

Konayuki (powdered snow)

The season in which the powdered snow dances always passes by
Even if I’m lost in a crowd I can see the same sky
Even though I'm chilled as if I'm being blown by the wind

I don't know anything about you, do I?
And yet, I found you amongst a billion people
There's no (scientific) basis for this, but I believe this with all seriousness

We can't live at the same time without trivial fights
If I can't be honest, then rapture and sorrow are meaningless

Powdered snow, if you paled me white to the heart
Can you share our loneliness?

I pressed my ear against your heart
Going gently, deeply towards where the sound (is coming from)
(That's where) I want to disembark,
There, we'll meet once again

I want us to reach rapport but I was the (only) one who touched its surface
The only thing that was holding us together was my hand squeezing yours that was numb with cold
Powdered snow, in front (of us), eternity, too fragilely, becomes a stain upon rough asphalt

Powdered snow, this heart that has transcended time is faltering
And yet, I want to continue to protect you

Powdered snow, if you paled me white to the heart
You would wrap around our loneliness and send it back into the sky